Friday, February 19, 2016

Laugh till you blackout

Oh man, last night was awesome.

For my birthday, Debbie got tickets for us to go see Jeremy Hotz!

I love stand up.  LOVE LOVE LOVE it.   There is just something about getting outside yourself for an hour or so and laughing till your cheeks hurt.

Although, before I can get into that, I have to circle back to earlier in the day when I got a text from my friend Beth saying that the power was out in our area.

Whoop-dee-doo.  It happens a lot in River Park South, well at least in the new houses.  Last time we had an extended outage in the summer, it was because a contractor severed a cable.  Word on the street (I am fully aware I am not cool enough to use that phrase, but my blog.. my rules) is that it happened again and another cable got severed.

It happened in the early afternoon, which meant the boys had an awesome day at school.  Imagine being a kid at school and the power goes out?  Are you kidding me?  Best Day EVER!  Running up and down the halls with flashlights, while teachers debate a career change?  Perfection.

Thankfully, the weather was really mild, otherwise that would have sucked pretty hard.  I got home from work around 6:30pm and the power was still out.  It still gets dark pretty early here, so I had to light up a seance  in order to change for the Hotz show.

Oh my gawd, he was awesome.  The show was at the Burt.  It always cracks me up to go there.  Really eclectic venue, where the walls have this amazing ornate scroll work and the seats are held together with red duct tape.

Most Comedians have a well rehearsed act and Jeremy was no exception, although he did take considerable time getting to know the crowd.  He asked this one young guy what he did for a living.  The guy said, "Electrician" and without missing a beat, Jeremy said, "Oh good!  Would you mind having a look at this giant black cord hanging from the ceiling?  What the h*ll is that?"

He wasn't kidding.  Hanging from the ceiling of the Burt was this heavy black cable running wires to various places.  Jeremy then asked the guy "Is that dangerous?"  Guy in the audience replied, "Eh...it's not great".  How Canadian of a response is that?

OMG.  It was beyond funny.  The whole thing was taped for a DVD, I'm going to look for it when it comes out.

 The evening would have been flawless if it wasn't for these two yahoos sitting next to us.  It was the classic, stand up and have them squish by you situation.  Inevitable, for sure.  But then they got up two more times (which in case you are doing the math is 4 squishy-get-to-know- you fly-byes) during the warm up act.    Once Jeremy got on stage, I figured they would hunker in for the show.

NOPE!  Up two more times intermingled with one of them lighting up his stupid face in blue light while texting the whole show.  Deb and I were just sitting there frustrated.  I must be getting old.

Seriously, in my twenties I would have lipped off and told him where to go. Now?  Not so much.   It's hard to say why really, but I think there is a little part of me that's nervous he'll say something like, "Shut up lady" or "Ok Mom."  or even worse... death to the female ego.... call me ma'am. Shudder.

Maybe it's just a dry spell and once I hit my seventies I'll get my groove back.  I really like the idea of being a bad ass seventy year old with tattoos.  It's a nice image.

Getting back to the yahoos,  no one is that busy, especially when you are in your twenties, unless of course you're a drug dealer or something.  Other than that that, wait until after the show and then have at it, tweet, instagram, blog to your hearts content, but for gawd sake, just be present when you are there.

No to mention the fact that if he was getting up that many times to go pee, it's might be cause for concern.  It's never too early to get that old prostate checked man... just saying.

After the show, Deb dropped me off at home.  Still no power.

Brad and the boys were out in East St. Paul for Zach's game, so it was pretty dark and quiet.

I went digging and found some more candles.  It felt very Hogwarty walking around holding a candle.  Ok, maybe not as cool as a lantern, but a honeysuckle jar candle works well in a pinch.


Since I hadn't had dinner, I texted Brad to pick me up something on the way home.  When the boys arrived, we all sat at the table and played candlelit chess.  For the record, Zach can kick my b*tt in chess day or night apparently.  Before we put the boys to bed, we had to take all the batteries out of the smoke detectors.  Ordinarily I would never agree to this, but in this case, they were chirping REALLY loud.  I think it's because they are hard wired and any time the main power source is gone, or the battery back up doesn't work it chirps.  This house has a huge amount of smoke detectors, some  that came with the house and the others are additional ones that came with our alarm package.  Regardless there was a lot of chirping.  So Brad took the batteries out.


After silencing the smoke detector symphony, I was getting genuinely concerned about our fridge.  I was less concerned about the freezers, because they were packed to the top with frozen stuff and we hadn't opened the lids.  The fridge though...not so much.  We finally checked on it around 11pm and it was room temperature.

We used the ice in the ice in the fridge door (which inexplicably hadn't melted, but I guess it would have to be insulated because it would always melt otherwise) to pack a cooler and put everything in the garage.  Other than that there was nothing to do but wait it out.

Even though I had today off I was nervous that I wouldn't wake up on time.  My phone was dying and I obviously couldn't charge it.  I tried using a 9 volt battery in my alarm clock, but it did nothing - wouldn't even turn on.  It wasn't the battery either, I checked 2 different batteries, same result.  Harrumph.

We went to bed hoping that my phone would work and Brad's internal clock would wake him up on time.

FINALLY, at 2:20 am the power came back on.  We hadn't gone around the house and turned off all the lights before bed, so everything just lit up and was noisy (chiming of washer/dryer etc).  I got up and turned all of the top floor lights off and went back to bed.  2 minutes later.....


CHIRP!

For F*ck sake.



The smoke detectors now had power but no battery backup, so they weren't happy.  Divas of safety they are.  You cannot sleep through that, so Brad got up and put all the batteries back.  At this point the house was a balmy 12C.  Again, super glad this little episode didn't happen last week with -30C going on.

You take the good with the bad right?  Great night out with a friend juxtaposed with a long extended blackout.  I guess you could say the night was a bit of a wash.










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