Monday, January 5, 2015

Square One

Sigh.

Back to square one.

Sunday morning Logan had hockey.  Brad took him early and Zach and I were going to show up a little later.

I got up, dressed, headed down for breakfast.  Zach was in the pantry and I was standing at the fridge.  As I was standing there I got the strangest deja vu feeling (the very same one I got when I "fainted" in the shower in November).

I am fully away of what this feeling means, so I headed straight to the couch to sit down.  Next thing I know I "woke up" with Zach saying "Mum!".

Yup.  It happened again.  This time though there was no heat in sight.  When I asked Zach was happened he said I was at the fridge and went to the couch, sat down and went into a trance.

What???

My eyes were open the whole time.  This is brand new information because in the land of me and my perception of these episodes I pass out, everything is black.  But according to Zach I was awake, just not responding to him.

So the deja vu feeling along with the staring into space description does not sound at all like a faint anymore.

As much as I hate to do it, I am going to the neurologist today to get it evaluated,  Yes, I am fully aware that this might mean revoking my license.  But, I cannot be driving if these episodes are going to show up whenever.  I refuse to put my kids or anyone else at risk.

But as frustrating as this is, I am choosing to take it as a blessing.  Yes, I had an episode, but I didn't fall, didn't hit my head, wasn't driving, didn't hurt anyone and for the first time someone SAW me have one and was able to provide more information than I had before, which may actually lead to a correct diagnosis (because clearly we haven't landed on it yet).

The other bonus is that I was able to get into my neuro today.  I had called my GP to make an appointment because I assumed I wouldn't be able to get into the neuro.  But I called the neuro to schedule an appointment.  When I explained what had happened the receptionist said that they had a cancellation a minute ago and would I like to take that appointment.

Yes!

So there you have it.  The latest update.  Not great, but hopeful.

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